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Ending the Vicious Cycle of Self-Sabotage


 Ahhh! I feel like screaming right now. I am here, sitting at a desk at Kool97FM, on the second day of my summer internship. I'm excited to spend the summer learning all that I can about media and radio broadcasting. Yes—I am living, breathing, and walking in my dreams. But then, here comes that long-time friend. You might know her too—her name Fear, and she's often accompanied by her twin, Self-Sabotage.

If you're like me, you've probably set some goals for your life—a roadmap of how you want your journey to unfold. And somewhere along the line, you're accomplishing these goals. You go, girl! But just as you're living your best life, those thoughts creep in: "I can't do this," "I'm not sure this is what I want," "I'm not ready," or "Me caah badda enuh" (Jamaican Patois for "I can't bother to do this").

When we lean towards those feelings and are unable to accomplish our goals it's called self-sabotaging.

The truth is, it's easier to embrace fear and procrastinate rather than step boldly into your dreams. But today, that self-sabotaging cycle ends here. That vicious cycle stops now.

Robin Sharma stated, "Our biggest enemy is our self-doubt. We really can achieve extraordinary things in our lives. But we sabotage our greatness because of our fear."

1. Realize, Acknowledge, and Accept It!

Yes, it sounds strange, but to break a bad cycle, we must first realize that we are in it. So, take a minute to grab your pen and paper, and write down exactly how you feel. It's okay to feel these feelings, but it's never okay to allow these self-destructive thoughts to overpower us. Remember, our feelings don't define us; our actions do.

2. Give Yourself Grace

We've established that feeling like this is okay, and almost everyone has felt like this at some point. It's now time to replace those feelings of fear and doubt with truth. Reclaim your power! Fill your space with positive affirmations, scriptures, and quotes, and repeat them to yourself. Here's something I do: I write down my affirmation for the day on a sticky note and when I feel a self-doubt attack coming, I repeat to myself that I can do extraordinary things! I can do hard things! 

3. Break Down Your Goals

Sometimes we self-sabotage because we think we must get it all done in one day. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day! So, go back to the drawing board and break up your goals into manageable pieces. One step at a time, you'll get there. And while you're achieving these goals, don't forget to celebrate you and how far you've come.

4. Fight with Action

Often, fear and doubt can keep you bound to a chair. You want to get up, but the crippling feeling keeps coming. Take a deep breath, do step number 2, and get moving. Fight fear with action. That thing you're doubting and fearing, go out and do it! Take the bull by its horns. Make what I like to call, a 'Fear List'- write down the things that scare you and start saying yes to the opportunities and experiences before you; a lifetime awaits you!

As I look forward to taking on this new road ahead of me and ending this vicious cycle, let's embark on this journey together. As for my internship, I am sure these feelings will resurface. However, when they do, I will be following the steps I've listed above and making the most of this experience. So, let's make a deal to break up with fear and her twin, self-sabotage. Until next time!

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